A psychologist insists: The best phase of life starts when you begin to think this way.

Some people swear their happiest days are behind them.

Others quietly notice a strange shift: joy shows up somewhere unexpected.

Instead of tying happiness to childhood memories or a future retirement fantasy, a growing number of psychologists say something different: your best phase starts the day your mindset changes, not the day your age changes.

Why We Romanticize the “Good Old Days”

Ask a group of adults to name the happiest time in their life and a pattern appears quickly. Many people point to childhood holidays, their student years, or a few bright moments in their twenties. Memory does a lot of editing. It keeps the sunsets and cuts out the sick days.

Psychologists call this rosy retrospection bias. The brain smooths the rough edges of the past. That often makes the present look gray by comparison, even when life now is safer, more stable, or richer in relationships.

Childhood-often praised as a lost paradise of innocence-had its own constraints. Children depend on adults for almost everything. They rarely control where they live, who they see, or what happens next. The playground came with fears, confusion, and rules set by others.

Early adulthood has its own shine: first loves, first jobs, first trips. But research on mental health in young adults paints a less glossy picture. Data from the U.K., the U.S., and Europe shows high levels of anxiety, pressure to perform, financial stress, and constant comparison fueled by social media.

Later life brings its own mix. Some studies highlight greater emotional balance after midlife, while others emphasize loneliness, health problems, and economic insecurity. There is no clear scientific winner for “happiest age.”

The happiest stage of life may not be a number on a birthday cake, but a turning point inside your head.

The Spanish Psychologist Challenging the Age Myth

Spanish psychologist and author Rafael Santandreu has gained attention on social media for a message that cuts through nostalgia culture. For him, the decisive moment is not 18, 30, or 65. It’s the moment a person starts to think “the right way,” as he puts it.

He describes a specific shift: less complaining, more appreciation for what already exists, and a willingness to notice the “magical” or even “spiritual” side of everyday life. This isn’t about miracles or major life events. It’s about ordinary scenes: a quiet coffee, a conversation with a friend, a body that still works well enough to walk down the street.

“The best stage of a person’s life is when they stop complaining and start enjoying the incredible things around them at every moment.”

According to Santandreu, when a person chooses this mental stance and practices it with “intensity and focus,” something in the mind changes over time. Daily life feels less like a series of problems to survive and more like a landscape of small, stacked gains.

What “Thinking the Right Way” Actually Looks Like

This kind of thinking is not about forced optimism or pretending everything is fine. Clinical psychologists often warn that toxic positivity can harm people who need to acknowledge grief, anger, or fear. The shift described here moves in a different direction: from passive complaint to active attention.

From Complaint Mode to Choice Mode

Everyday language reveals mindset. People stuck in complaint mode often speak in sweeping, helpless terms:

• “Nothing ever works out for me.”
• “This country is ruined.”
• “People are terrible.”

Those sentences feel heavy and permanent. They offer no way out.

Choice mode sounds different. It keeps problems on the table, but adds agency:

• “This part of my life is hard. I can still decide how to respond today.”
• “The system has flaws. I can choose what I support, what I ignore, and what I build locally.”

The facts might be similar. The psychological effect isn’t. A person in choice mode looks for levers, however small. A person in complaint mode reinforces helplessness with every sentence.

The Habit of Noticing Small, Real Good Things

Research in positive psychology-especially on gratitude-supports this. People who regularly note concrete positive elements in their day (not vague affirmations, but specific facts) tend to report better mood, stronger relationships, and more resilience under stress.

• Gratitude lists of 3–5 items a day show measurable effects in a few weeks.
• Brief “savoring” exercises, where you pause to enjoy a moment, can reduce stress responses.
• Reframing difficulties as challenges to learn from is linked to lower anxiety.

Santandreu’s advice overlaps with these findings. By training the mind to look for what’s already working, the brain changes its default filters. Problems don’t disappear, but they no longer dominate the mental field.

The best phase of life may begin the day you stop asking, “Was I happier back then?” and start asking, “How can I use today?”

Why Age Matters Less Than Mental Habits

Neuroscience studies show the adult brain remains more plastic than previously believed. People can change mental habits well into their seventies and eighties. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, is based on the idea that thoughts, emotions, and behaviors form loops that can be rewired.

When someone shifts from chronic complaint to active appreciation, several things happen:

Old pattern	New pattern	Likely effect
Ruminating on what went wrong	Noticing what went right too	Lower anxiety, less mental noise
Constantly comparing yourself to others	Comparing yourself to your past self	More realistic progress, less envy
Waiting for “the right time”	Taking small steps today	A sense of momentum and control

These shifts don’t erase external problems like money issues, family conflict, or health concerns. But they influence how much space those problems take up mentally-and how much energy remains for constructive action.

Can Anyone Trigger This “Best Stage” of Life?

Not everyone can flip their mindset overnight. People facing depression, trauma, or severe stress often need professional support, medical care, or social help. The risk in this kind of conversation is blaming individuals for their suffering, as if mindset alone could fix structural injustice.

Most psychologists who talk about mental framing make one careful distinction: attitude does not replace policy, community, or therapy. It works alongside them. A person can advocate for better working conditions and still practice daily appreciation. A patient can take antidepressants and learn to shift their internal dialogue.

What Santandreu and many of his peers argue is that the “best stage of life” remains accessible at different ages once basic safety is in place. Someone who starts this cognitive work at 25 may feel a lift early. Another might only reach that point at 55 after a divorce or a career change. In both cases, the new way of thinking reshapes the timeline that follows.

How to Test This Shift in Your Own Life

Readers who want something practical can run a short mental experiment for two weeks. No apps, no major life overhaul-just a simple structure many therapists recognize as effective.

A 14-Day Mindset Experiment

For 14 days, set aside five minutes each evening. On paper-not on your phone, if possible-answer three prompts:

• One thing that went badly and what you learned from it.
• Three small things that went well or felt pleasant, however ordinary.
• One micro-action you will take tomorrow to improve something you care about.

This kind of exercise does two things: it respects reality by naming what went wrong, and it trains your attention to notice what supports you. That balance between honesty and appreciation mirrors the mindset Santandreu describes.

At the end of the two weeks, ask yourself quietly: Did my days feel different? Did problems shrink, stay the same, or grow? Did I complain less out loud-or in my own head?

Beyond Happiness: Risks, Gains, and Side Effects

This mental shift has side effects that go beyond a vague boost in happiness. People who leave chronic complaint often feel a clearer sense of responsibility. That can feel uncomfortable at first. It means letting go of certain excuses. It can even strain relationships with friends who mainly bond through shared complaining.

The gains, though, tend to multiply. A person who sees each stage of life as workable ground-not a lost battle-usually takes more measured risks: retraining for a new job, making new friends later in life, moving to a new city at 50 instead of accepting quiet resentment. Confidence grows less from affirmations and more from seeing that actions, however small, can change days and weeks.

This perspective also changes how people talk about aging with children and teens. Instead of saying, “Enjoy this-it’s the best time of your life,” adults who adopt this mindset often send a different message: “Every age has its good parts and its mess. You can learn, at any age, to build a good day from what you have.” Heard early and repeated often, that kind of message can quietly reshape how the next generation measures their own timeline.